Saturday, December 20, 2008

Jet Li and Steven Spielberg Jokes

Jet Li walked into a pub in New York with his pal. He says to his pal: “Hey! That’s Steven Spielberg over there! God, I wish he’ll come over to say “hi”.

Spielberg suddenly walked over and gave the man a punch on the nose.

Li : “Hey!! What that’s for?!”

Spielberg : “You bloody Japanese killed my granddad when you
bombed Pearl Harbour!”

Li : “I’m not Japanese! I’m Chinese!”
Spielberg : “Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, you’re all the same!”

Spielberg walks back to the other side. Then Jet Li calmly walks over to Spielberg and gives him a really heavy punch on the face.

Spielberg : “Hey! What that’s for….. !?!”

Li : “YOU BLOODY ASSHOLE! YOU SANK THE TITANIC!”

Spielberg : “No, I didn’t, an iceberg sank the Titanic!”

Li : “Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, you’re all the same!”

Politics Explained

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism.

Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people.

The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh*t.”

Thursday, November 13, 2008

my horoscope..LEO!!!!

Daily Horoscopes has been providing horoscopes, astrology, and psychic readings on the internet since 1993. Our horoscopes are created by using actual astrology charts along with numerology to derive the base information. We offer Astrology reports personalized for you.

Psychic Readings are provided by Daily Horoscopes' elite group of psychics to advise you with your love life, career, family matters, finances, business matters and more.

Outer circumstances are favorable and it should be easy for you to push forward in projects and in all aspects of your life. Things may seem almost magical in the way they work out in your favor. This is a great time to organize and get things accomplished. Environmental contaminants connected with your work can be a problem and you may be successful in convincing higher ups of needed changes. You may encourage co-workers to join with you regarding a clean-up project in your work environment. There are rewards! Others appreciate your attention to better working conditions. You may see a domino effect with other businesses around your city where this clean-up is concerned. You may find yourself visiting and enjoying your friends this evening.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Do You Like This??

ATM
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

p/s:huhuhu.......(^_^)

Monday, November 10, 2008

sorry...dear!!!!

'Saya minta maaf'

MEMINTA maaf adalah dua perkataan yang ringkas tetapi sukar dilafazkan oleh kebanyakan orang. Malah, bagi kanak-kanak atau remaja, tindakan meminta maaf mungkin tidak wujudl dalam kamus hidup jika tidak 'diperkenalkan' terlebih dahulu oleh ibu bapa.
Ada yang berpendapat mengajar anak meminta maaf mungkin bukan satu idea yang baik. Sebabnya, tindakan ini mendidik anak menganalisis dan seterusnya menyebabkan mereka sukar menikmati zaman kanak-kanak secara natural.
Tetapi, apakah keperluan tindakan meminta maaf sememangnya perlu diterapkan dalam diri anak sejak awal usia lagi?
Perunding dan penceramah etika perniagaan terkemuka, Lauren Bloom pernah berkata, meminta maaf adalah satu kemahiran sosial yang penting.
Katanya, kanak-kanak yang belajar 'etika' ini bakal menjadi manusia yang efektif dalam apa jua keadaan apabila dewasa nanti.
"Kita semua melakukan kesalahan. Ini adalah sebahagian daripada lumrah kehidupan. Tapi, kesalahan atau kesilapan kecil yang kita buat mungkin memberi impak berlanjutan kepada orang lain jika tidak disusuli dengan maaf.
"Mendidik anak meminta maaf apabila berlaku kesilapan boleh membantu mereka memahami pentingnya sebuah hubungan dan menghormati orang lain," kata Bloom dalam blognya.

Jika begitu situasinya, apakah langkah mudah untuk membiasakan anak meminta maaf apabila perlu?
Ibu bapa sebagai contoh
Tunjukkan kepada anak bagaimana kata maaf boleh dilafazkan. Misalnya, apabila anda tidak sengaja menumpahkan makanan, katakan: "Minta maaf ya. Mama tak sengaja." Kata-kata ini mungkin nampak ringkas tetapi jika diaplikasikan pada kesalahan lain, ia akan melekat dalam pemikiran anak.

Gunakan bahasa tubuh

Apabila meminta maaf, bahasa tubuh dan renungan mata juga penting dan boleh berkata-kata. Kata maaf yang disertakan dengan renungan mata menunjukkan rasa kesal si pengucap. Genggaman tangan dan pelukan erat juga boleh menjadi ikutan anak jika anda meminta maaf dengan bahasa tubuh seperti itu. Namun, tegaskan kepada anak bahawa pelukan seperti itu bagaimanapun hanya boleh diberikan kepada orang terdekat seperti ahli keluarga sendiri. Salaman ringkas pula ditujukan kepada kenalan. Sesungguhnya, bahasa tubuh adalah kaedah berkomunikasi yang lebih efektif sebelum seseorang melafazkan kata-kata maaf.
Ajar anak bertanggungjawab
Selain itu, anak perlu mengetahui erti bertanggungjawab terhadap kesalahan yang dilakukannya. Misalnya, jika anak merosakkan barang mainannya, maka, setelah meminta maaf, dia patut berkata: "Mak, saya tahu saya salah. Saya tidak akan ulangi perbuatan yang sama lagi." Hanya dengan cara ini, anak tahu dirinya salah dan perlu bertanggungjawab terhadap kesilapan diri.

Hargai anak

Kata maaf yang diucapkan tidak tinggi maknanya tanpa penghargaan daripada si penerima. Justeru itu, adalah penting untuk anda sebagai ibu bapa memberi tanda menghargai menerusi pujian. Sebagai contoh, katakanlah: "Wah, pandainya nak. Baiklah, mak maafkan, ya." Tindakan ini bukan sahaja boleh melegakan rasa si peminta maaf, malah boleh menguatkan lagi hubungan sesama manusia.
Dalam pada itu, apakah yang akan berlaku jika anak yang bersalah tidak biasa meminta maaf? Pertama, anak mungkin terpaksa berdepan dengan situasi diasingkan daripada kelompok rakan sebaya atau pergaulannya mungkin menjadi terbatas. Keadaan ini sekali gus boleh menjejaskan perkembangan sosialnya.
Jadi, apa sekali pun alasannya, percayalah, etika meminta maaf yang dipelajari sejak kecil boleh memanfaatkan empunya badan apabila dewasa kelak.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

watch the best movie!!!!





Yesterday,I was watch the best movie in 2008.....the title movie is "James Bond:Quantum Of Solace 007". I'm going at AEON Bukit Tinggi Klang to watch this movie....(^_^)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

my sweet frezzz....


they are my loving friends since school yet.we all designate convocation on 22 nov 2008...we will continue success indefinitely..Insya Allah...(^_^)

Monday, November 3, 2008

my first blog....huhuhuhu...

hello...
i'm not familiar to write in blog...
what i want to write ek???
emmmmm.....
actually,this is my first time write blog coz my lec adviced my friend and I to develop and write sumthin...